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Inner Peace Be Upon You,

Ramin Mohammad

Thursday, November 7, 2013

#0542 Reconcile with your parents

Inner Peace Be Upon You

# 0542 Peace and Blessings Every Day
Reconcile with your parents

I remember when I was young. Probably about four or
five years old. My father would come to the U.S. from
Afghanistan after having been gone for some time. I
would be so happy. When he was around I would
cling onto him like a monkey on a tree. I would want
to breathe him in for I knew his stay was only temporary.
He had to go back to Afghanistan.

This was in the early 1990s and my father kept going
back because that’s where his business was to provide
for us.

He brought us to the U.S. initially on a temporary basis to escape the
war and destruction that the Cold War between the U.S.
and Soviet Russia and then the Civil War brought on our
door steps.

I remember how I was when I was younger because when I reached
my teenage years that little boy who was in love with his father changed.
I’ve always looked up to my father, but for some reason there was a lot of
pain and resentment that I had harbored.

I felt he was never there for me.

I felt like I had to grow up to be a man all on my own.

I felt hurt and angry.

I rebelled. I rebelled against him, and always made decisions
contrary to his advice while I was a teenager. This
essentially deteriorated my relationship with him. We would
barely speak to each other.

As I am now older, and a father myself, I remembered something
that was told to me. You see, I always told myself I don’t have a
relationship with my father, but one time I was told, “Ramin, you
do have a relationship with your father. It’s just not the one you want.”

That comment struck me. It really made me stop and reflect on what
I was saying and wanting myself to believe. So often we feel we
don’t have a relationship with someone, but more often it is that
we do, but it’s not the one we envisioned in our minds.

A lot comes with age, and one of those things I have started to realize
and appreciate is all the sacrifices my father had to make to
keep his family and children safe. My father was there for me.
He did the best that he could being in a situation where his life as he knew
it in Afghanistan--a place he grew up, built his business, his reputation, fell in
love with my mother, his close friends...everything--was gone overnight.
He truly did do the best he could given the circumstances that
life had given him.

As children we are selfish and we have every right to be simply because
we really don’t know better. But as we get older, we do learn how
the world works. Often circumstances and situations are out of our
control. Just as they were in my father’s situation. Although I know
it will take some time, one thing I have realized is the importance
of reconciling my relationship with my father.

Often we don’t appreciate what our parents have had to do, and take
them for granted until it is too late. If you are in a situation where you have
had a turbulent relationship with a parent, and they are still alive today, well
you have that window of opportunity of start that reconciliation process.

I know it is not easy. I still am building up the courage to apologize to my father
for what I put him through as a teenager. My ego is telling me I don’t have to
apologize because it is the nature of a teenager to go against a parent. Yet,
my spiritual peaceful side won’t feel good about until I do.

It is not easy, but the reconciliation has to start somewhere.

Inner Peace Be Upon You.

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